Its been a year since i broke up with her, it was my big mistake. I thought everything would be just fine, i knew she would understand, but i was wrong. She suffered from what i've done. I really love her from the very start. But i was so childish, i was flooded with feelings that i can't see myself anymore. I really cared for her more than myself, but i was wrong. I was just so selfish.
After those unexplained goodbyes, I still do talk to her, but it seems to fade away. I push her away to find a new guy, for her to be loved. I was so stupid telling it to her, pushing her away. Wishing she could move on, hoping she would be alright. Being so secured about that, i didn't know. It was me who was really left behind. Lonely, no one to hold on, no one to be there beside me. It was just only me. A cold winter year for me. No warmth I felt.
It has been months, I met new girls. New faces, new chances, but I still do long for her. There was this girl whom I felt something unusual, some kind of care, and warmth. I'm trying to rearrange my feelings, trying to wake up my sleeping heart.
We've been friends, but nothing more deeper than that. I understood. I tried to love her, and receive a friendly love in return.
Waking myself up, saying farewell to this friend whom i fell in love with, but nothing happened, i decided to face my past. I tried to rearrange the puzzle once more. Built up with strength to face my beloved girlfriend.
I faced her, with this heart. Which I knew is matured than before. I told her everything, every little bit of reasons. Every unsaid words. I told her I want to love her and be loved by her again. Being surprised, she suddenly kissed me, and hug me very tight. Asking her, how about your new boyfriend, she said "I tried to love him, but it was still you that i long and it was only you that i love". Hearing her say that, I smiled. and replied, "It was also you that I need and I love."
Starting that moment, we've been smiling and loving each other to our fullest. We want to feel each other, that we need each one, and we love each other.
I felt so uphealed, felt my heart was re-located from where it was. Starting a new chapter of my life, with her. It seems life now,has life.
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